The Centipig Itself
The centipig is a fascinating creature, with complex intricacies. Here, we'll start from the ground and work are way up as best we can.
Centipigs have between 50 and 300 legs. Over the course of their life, they may lose some or they may grow more. The legs are about the size of a new, unsharpened pencil, in length and diameter. The legs have no knee, and the only joint in the leg is where the leg and body of the centipig connect. The legs are in the shape of an L, with a toenail at the bottom. These toenails, ground to a powder, contain the only known cure for viral meningitis. Unfortunately, if you mix the ground powder with asbestos fibers, it will cause viral meningitis. (I know that is a medical impossibility, but bear with me.) This mixture will also cause lung disease, by the way.
The body of a centipig can be anywhere from 6" to 15'. It takes a great many years to grow more than 15 feet, twice the normal lifespan of a centipig, which is about 100 years. Most living centipigs are between five and seven feet long. The diameter of a centipigs body is about the size of a grown mans wrist. The body is pale yellow in complexion, with tufts of black hair sprouting in a seemingly random pattern over the body. A centipig has a curly tail, like a pig.
A centipig's head resembles a modern swine, with the exception of two needle sharp tusks protruding from the bottom of the mouth. The centipig has tall ears, and remarkable hearing and eyesight.
Centipigs feed on a diet consisting of fruit, berries, seeds, grubs, roots, and small mammals, such as deer. Centipigs have also been known to kill and eat humans. Crazily, though, centipigs have only been know to eat Democrats. A centipig emits a loud, shrill, high call when hunting, referred to as the "call of the centipig." (Not to be confused with "the song of the centipig") Because of their many legs, centipigs can run extremely fast, up to 55 mph. In fact, the only time a centipig stops running is to die.
Because of this, there is only one way to escape a centipig. Climb the nearest tree. Centipigs can't climb. The centipig will circle the tree until its many feet wear a path in the ground, deeper and deeper. When the centipig has buried itself at a depth of 3 feet, you can safely leave the tree. The centipig will evenly jump out, when it realizes you have fled the tree.
Centipigs reproduce by laying eggs. I have heard a rumor that they reproduce asexually like worms but this is not true! They lay eggs on the run, then carry them on their back till they hatch. If you find a centipig egg, take it home and scramble it! It will turn your hair a magnificent shade of auburn.
The centipig emits a beautiful song on certain night, with a haunting melody. This has given birth the saying "The hills are alive with the sound of music!" The original saying, not well know was actually "Hark! The mountains resound with the sound of the centipig's song!"
Because of public ignorance, many people have confused the centipig with a wimple. They look somewhat alike, but wimples have a set of legs on their back. This way, when one set tires, they can flip over and continue running. A sure way to discern the difference between a wimple and a centipig is that centipigs will kill u and wimples will not.